THE S&P 5000

BOOK 4 - The Partly Cloudy Patriot

I’ve always liked Sarah Vowell from her appearances on This American Life, but for the longest time, I’d only read one of her books, Assasination Vacation (so good, by the way). The Partly Cloudy Patriot is a somewhat hodgepodge collection of essays, all roughly about America. A few are a bit slight and/or dated but on the whole they’re very entertaining and occasionally poignant. Makes me want to be a better citizen (but, you know, in a liberal, free-spirited, I-love-the-land-not-necessarily-the-government kind of way.)

BOOK 3 - Freakonomics

This is a mystery about a guy who reads his friend’s copy of a book in 2009, and only half finishes it because his friend sold the book, because it was for a class. Years later, the first guy decides to finish the book. He reads and reads, waiting to reach the part that he never got to years ago. Suddenly, the book ends. “Whoops,” he says to himself, softly at first, then louder. “WHOOPS. WHOOPS. WHOOPS.”

BOOK 2 - Shoplifting From American Apparel

The tale of an unbearable hipster and his unbearable hipster friends, (seemingly) as narrated by an autistic stoned robot. Hilarious at first, but the gimmick wears thin pretty quickly, and the actual story is exceedingly banal. Possibly the hipster-est of books? The author is so cool he doesn’t care about making his novella interesting, guys. In all likelihood, my greatest regret of 2012! So far!

RATING: TWO OUT OF FIVE ORGANIC VEGAN RESTAURANTS

BOOK 1 - The Princess Bride

If you are a human between the ages of 3 and 78, it is more than likely you have seen this movie. I’ve probably seen it a hundred times and was still completely enthralled by the book. For the most part, it’s The Princess Bride as you know and love it, but there’s more backstory on Inigo and Fezzik, making Inigo’s quest in particular all the more touching. The framing device is a bit different too—the book is presented as an abridged version of the original, with commentary by William Goldman, and it ends on a somewhat bleaker note. If you’ve seen the movie already (which, as we covered at the beginning of this paragraph, you have), this isn’t really a necessary read, but it’s a lovely ride all the same. 

RATING: FOUR OUT OF FIVE AVENGED PARENTS

GENTLE READERS: Stop your tears. It is I, William, the handsome half of the S&P 5000, returned to you once more. Following my brutal loss to a human subwoofer in an underground fighting ring, I have lost my sense of hearing and in my bitterness, have resolved to read 100 books this year!

BUT FIRST: The five best albums of 2011, mankind’s last year before Ragnarok, when Jormungandr poisons the sky and Fenrir slays all gods!

1. St. Vincent - Strange Mercy

2. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Belong

3. Wye Oak - Civilian

4. Neon Indian - Era Extraña

5. Cut Copy - Zonoscope

WILL OUT

Drake-Take Care

There is a song on Take Care titled “Underground Kings.” If you are familiar with Drake even in the slightest bit, you know he is anything from Underground. Drake is quite possibly the most well known hip-hop artist on the planet, and his mass appeal really shines through on this LP. I’m not saying that is a bad thing, I’m just saying that, stylistically, it’s not anything you wouldn’t expect on his previous album, Thank Me Later. 

And by stylistically, I mean beats, lyrics, flow etc. 

With that being said, I was pleasantly surprised on my first listen through of how good this album is. I kept saying to myself that everything is more mature: beats, lyrics, and flow. I think what stood out to me the most was how, at certain times throughout Take Care, Drake’s flow almost sounds like spoken word. I may get a lot of hate for saying this, but he sounds like he borrows Lil B’s style a little bit. 

With the spoken-word-esque rhythmical patterns (which aren’t even patterns), he’s off beat, on his own tempo, rhymes when he wants to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wokhv10CGjY], like on the song “Lord Knows” Ps. This is the best song on the album. 

To go along with the “maturity” of this album, I have to mention the beats. THE BEATS AIN’T CHEAP. The beats on Take Care don’t follow the current trends of….I don’t even know how to classify radio rap beats. Trashy? When listening to this album, the beats have a certain level of sophistication and classiness. Lots of strings and choirs, piano and then, like the track featuring the Weeknd (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl296tzHGWs), you have the sound that completely interrupts the calming soundscape that is created in the song-I love it.

If you are still reading this, I am still writing because this album is long. It’s just under 80 minutes, and I think this is my main complaint about Take Care. The second half of the album really doesn’t hold up against the first, and that’s a shame. Also, I really feel that the “Marvin’s Room/Buried Alive” is completely unnecessary. After about 12 tracks, I find myself exhausted from listening, regardless of how good or bad I think the album may be. 

If you are still with me, you are probably wanting me to wrap it up, and I am. My final prognosis for Take Care is this: it’s good. It’s not great, but it’s not bad in any sense of the word. 

S&P 5000 credit rating: AA-

‘susceptibility to long-term risks appears somewhat greater’

Genres: hip-hop, R&B, post Weezy

-Tim

White Denim-Takes Place in Your Work Space EP

If you’ve never heard of White Denim 1) you are missing out and 2) they are the future of pure Rock and Roll. I really would like to post all of their songs, but can you imagine what that would look like on this blog? White Denim is a rock quartet (used to be trio) from Austin Texas, and like I literally just said, they play rock music. Now, you may be thinking “But Tim, you just reviewed a rock album last week and you hated it.” Well, that wasn’t White Denim. These guys, in my opinion, are almost more Jazz than rock, with non-typical drum patterns, extremely technical guitar riffs (sometimes), but the thing that will stick out the most are the pattern-less vocal melodies. 

Now, as for Takes Place EP, there is almost none of that, save for the vocals. This is a very relaxed, very contemporary album. I think the word I would use to describe it best would be accessible. But it’s not like there are tons of radio-friendly hits on here-this is still White Denim. If you’ve ever seen these guys live, you know they jam, and they don’t stop jamming until their fingers are on fire and they’re spitting up blood. And there is a healthy amount of that on this EP. There are only six songs, and 2/3 of them I could easily see being played for 8-ish minutes during a live set. 

As for the rest of the album, like I said, it’s very relaxed. It really reminds me of one of their previous releases, Last Day of Summer, which I love. To balance out the jam, the rest of the album is light, with acoustic driven songs to relax to. No yelling, no over-driven guitars or songs with 173 BPM. It’s a very fun album, and I really, really like the direction White Denim is heading. My only complaint is that I wish there were more songs ;_; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_kc__TGRFY

S&P 5000 credit rating: AA+

‘high quality, with very low credit risk’

Genres: neo-psychedelic rock music that Jimi Hendrix wishes that he could play with, except less bluesy, coffee house jams

-Tim